Focus on the Good

Feb 12, 2017

Dont worry; be happy. This might sound good in theory, but it is quite hard to practice in my life. I have discovered stress triggers nasty behaviors in me. Then I obsess, and my misbehavior multiplies. Don’t get me wrong, a bit of stress is normal, but in excess, it can become debilitating.

Today, my third born announced he gave his two-week notice to his employer because he wants to work at a bank where he can get experience in his major, business finance. “Wouldn’t it seem important to secure a new job before quitting the old one?” I inquired. This line of reasoning was lost on him, but on I persisted. I focused on my out-of-work son, rather than the fact he is in college and has saved most of his earnings from his current job. “It will be fine,” he said. And indeed, it will.

My youngest son also has the “don’t worry” gene. Though in high school, he has the joy and wonder of a five-year old. He stays optimistic and doesn’t dwell on things that bring him down. He helped me finish a video story about being a good friend for the students at our school yesterday, and once again, indirectly reminded me, “all will be well”.

Want to have a positive impact on your own behavior and that of others? Remember, life is a mixed bag of joys and concerns. Choose to focus on the parts for which you are thankful. Just as stress has a way of spreading when we obsess over it, I believe the same holds true with regard to our blessings. Focus on the good parts, and they too will multiply.

PS: Here’s the link to Max’s new lesson: https://danstromain.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Can_I_Play_Too_.mp4

Start of School Goals

Welcome to the new school year. Consider kicking it off by working with your students on setting behavior and/or academic goals. I tell younger students, “One goal makes our heart happier, and the other makes our brain smarter.”  Frame the discussion in terms of...

School’s About to Start! Woo Hoo! …or not

While at a restaurant earlier this week, I really enjoyed a conversation coming from the booth next to me. Two brothers were talking about the start of school. The soon-to-be first grader told the waitress he couldn't wait! The soon-to-be eighth grader...not so much....

A New Year

As we said goodbye to 2025 earlier this week, I was thinking about one of my favorite animated children’s specials, Rudolph’s Shiny New Year. In it, Father Time tells Rudolph that if the horrible vulture, Eon the Terrible, takes Happy, the Baby New Year, time stops...

Enjoy the Journey

Perspective and attitude carry a great deal of weight when it comes to behavior. Accordingly, I need to slow down during this hectic month. Of course, my tendency is to speed up. I make a list of all the tasks needing completion before the year’s end and check it...

Homeostasis

You might have noticed I stepped away from technology over the past few months.  It wasn’t a choice at first.  2025 has been a challenging year - and one that has reminded me of the importance of homeostasis. A simple definition of homeostasis is “any...

Using Our Time Wisely

So, it’s been a while since I’ve posted. Sorry – this was not my intent.  As I mentioned in a prior blog, my wife and I spent a great deal of time over the summer in Ohio with a lifelong friend who is now in hospice care.  We’ve felt fortunate to be able to do this. ...

Unseen Challenges

We don’t know what we don’t know – this is the mantra that’s circled through my brain on several occasions this summer.  People have all kinds of challenges that are not always visible to outsiders. And when we don’t know the full story behind people’s behaviors,...

Acknowledge, Defer, Step Away

So parents, are you enjoying time with your kids while school is out?  Though summer can be great for families, it can also present challenges.  Close quarters, combined with high amounts of together time, can become a breeding ground for conflict. Keep in mind that...

Blooming Challenges

II’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Parents, you are going to get frustrated with your kids. But when that happens, find an activity you enjoy and step away. This strategy help you avoid a power struggle, and more importantly, adjusts your perspective....

Time to Refuel

Educators, this is just a reminder that It’s called summer break for a reason.  Your work August through May is draining, which takes a toll on your physical, emotional and mental health.  You might not be consciously aware of this now because when your brain and body...

Mother’s Day – A Collective Effort

It’s Mother’s Day - and the end of Teacher Appreciation Week.  This seems appropriate since most teachers play the role of surrogate mom about 180 days per year.  Teachers nurture, support, encourage, provide boundaries, model, listen, and teach.  These...