Posts

For years, I have been motivated by the desire to change the behavior of my children for the better. Unfortunately, my boys didn’t get that memo. They didn’t share my goal, at least not in my way, or on my timeline. Different factors seemed to drive their choices, attitudes and behaviors. Had I discovered this earlier in my parenting, perhaps I wouldn’t have worked so hard,...

How’s your EIQ? I am continually reminded of how important a person’s emotional intelligence quotient is to parenting. I see emotional age as an individual’s ability to appropriately exhibit or inhibit feelings, especially in times of stress. I had a Deja Vu moment today, as yet again, the people on my plane ride were treated to the exuberant joy and contrasting fit of a very...

I choose to believe most of us have good social skills when we don’t need them. My momma taught me to treat others the way I want to be treated. For the most part, I do this when all is going well. Unfortunately, this becomes a more daunting task when I’m frustrated. It seems when I get upset and lose my mind, so too, do I lose my social graces. During these times I show my stress...

Dont worry; be happy. This might sound good in theory, but it is quite hard to practice in my life. I have discovered stress triggers nasty behaviors in me. Then I obsess, and my misbehavior multiplies. Don’t get me wrong, a bit of stress is normal, but in excess, it can become debilitating. Today, my third born announced he gave his two-week notice to his employer because he wants to...

Its a constant struggle the person I am vs. the person I want to be. It seems no matter how hard I try to build positive behavior patterns, I fight the momentum of my bad habits. I will often set a goal (to work out more, finish a project, ease up on something or someone) and do well with it – for about a day or two. And then, as much as I want to keep the momentum going, I get tired,...

My perspective is my reality, which at times, seems to cause problems. Of course, Im very good at seeing things my way. Ive had 50 years of practice doing so. Unfortunately, I forget the same holds true for others. Differing perspectives, without empathy or understanding, can breed hostility. Unfortunately, my family members, more so than others, have taught me this lesson. You never...

You have probably been exposed to Maslows hierarchy of needs at some point in your life. This motivation theory outlines how individuals strive first for physical and emotional safety. Included in the lower ring of needs are freedom from fear, love, and acceptance. Upon some reflection, this has huge behavioral implications. I have learned over the course of many painful parenting years that...

One of the best ways to avoid power struggles is to allow others to have the last word. Though difficult to do, it is an effective strategy – especially when dealing with your own children. I have always struggled to practice what I preach with regard to this one, as I have felt as though I was letting my son win by not responding. However, as my wife has reminded me on numerous...

Welcome to 2017. Being a goal-oriented person, this is one of my favorite times of year. I, for one, will be starting things off by identifying my behavioral zone of proximal development. It is the place that challenges me to be my best self just beyond my level of comfort. I know from experience if my New Years resolution is too difficult, Ill abandon it as soon as the novelty wears off. So...

So, the topic of conversation today seems to center on the idea of change – from the changing of weather (76 yesterday, 30 last night) to the changing of bad habits (New Year’s Resolutions are just around the corner.) Personally, I love change. In education, I think the way the holidays are designed, change is a safety valve for adults and children, alike. As an educator, I am...