I believe a critical step in dealing with inappropriate behaviors is determining which are the result of poor choices and which are more likely poor habits.   With the human brain wired for survival, only able to consciously attend to one thing at a time, it often moves behaviors into an ‘autopilot’ category in order to store energy and focus attention on the most critical issue at hand....

A warning for all parents: your children will drive you crazy.  This is normal and to be expected.  Genealogy is a funny thing.  It is uncanny how our kids are able to intuitively exhibit the very behaviors that most readily bring out the worst in us, their parents.  Ironically, I feel certain the behaviors that annoy us are often ones we exhibited when we were younger. The good news is that...

How was your Thanksgiving week? For me, it was priceless. I spent time with my family, truly stepped away from work tasks, and got some much needed rest. It was like pressing the reset button on my emotional and physical health meter. I’m guessing many of you can relate – getting overwhelmed by the swimming marathon of never-ending daily tasks. We dive in and come up for air on an “as...

Do you ever overthink things? I do – and too often the mental clutter I create escalates my behavior. I do it to myself by focusing on my challenges. And I’ve discovered my mental habits are just as hard to break as my physical ones. My wife and I spent the week in Columbus, Ohio helping a close friend move to a beautiful area called German Village. In her strategic attempt to declutter,...

Did you know anger is referred to as a secondary emotion?  It is usually triggered by other emotions, like fear or frustration.  Anger is part of our survival makeup, protecting and shielding us from other vulnerable feelings.  I have encoded this small piece of information into my long-term cognitive and emotional memory to help me deal with some pretty volatile situations – at times with...

Another election week has come to a close – and with it, tons of behavioral implications of which I took note. For me, it was an emotional roller coaster. As expected, I cycled through feelings of pride, hope and sadness. With each election: I am proud of our democracy. The fact that we have a voice and are able to vote makes my heart swell. I remain very hopeful with the outcome – even...

Words matter. What we say not only sends a message to others about our beliefs and values, but also about the type of people we are. “Is that helpful or hurtful?” “Will that pull people up or push them down?” “Include or exclude?” “Move people forward or hold them back?” There are many ways to say it, but they all mean the same thing: Words have power, so choose them carefully. Ever play the...

Older folk are familiar with these adages: “Leave things nicer than you found them.” “Think not of what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.” These messages focus on others, not self. They encourage individuals to look beyond their own wants and needs and show concern for others. They emphasize selfless rather than selfish acts. Unfortunately, a new message has...

I’ve been thinking a lot about my mother-in-law this week.  She is 90 years old and lives independently in a retirement community.  Though she still drives and is in good health, she spends most days alone, due to the pandemic.  We connect through phone calls, but like most of her peers, she does not use a computer, so other virtual formats are not an option. My heart goes out to people who...

Ever need a break? Tensions get high and we look for an escape – a place to step away and feel solid ground beneath our feet. We’ve all been there, having experienced stress brought on by family members, co-workers, kids, and of course, life situations. The St. Romain household welcomed family refugees over the weekend, courtesy of Hurricane Delta. It seems like just yesterday they were with...