Beyond Poor Choices

I know I’m stating the obvious, but changing behavior can be difficult.  Want to start off on the right foot when faced with this challenge?  A critical first step in dealing with inappropriate behaviors is determining which are the result of poor choices and which are more likely poor habits.  

With the human brain wired for survival, only able to attend to one thing at a time, it often moves behaviors into an autopilot category in order to store energy and focus on other issues at hand.  So, when behaviors are repeated, the inclination is for them to move from conscious choices to unconscious habits.  The more frequent the behavior, the more often this is probably the case – which of course, makes change increasingly more of a challenge.  

I don’t excuse inappropriate behavior – and I know that even when habits are involved, people make poor choices.  However, I also choose to believe people do the best they are able given their developmental and skill levels.  Accordingly, I feel confident I need to extend more grace to others, rather than moving to my default mode of judgment.

So, when faced with the task of changing the ingrained behavior patterns of someone in your life, take a step back think about the last time you tried to break a bad habit.  Hopefully, this simple exercise will help you, like me, be infinitely more patient with that person and the whole process of behavioral change.