After You.

“After you.”  It’s a simple phrase and gesture, but one that provides insight into a person’s perspective and disposition.  Although this is an automatic response for many when passing through a doorway with others, when the stakes are higher, I’m not convinced the overwhelming collective response is to think about the well-being of others.

With my wife and I being partially-to-fully retired, our schedules allowed us to spend the week in Ohio helping a friend who was having surgery.  In doing so, I noticed the more I focused on helping her, the less I obsessed on my own needs and concerns.  It was refreshing.

I don’t think I’m selfish, but I often get so focused on trying to accomplish something or making a point, I lose sight of the feelings and perspective of others.  I’m convinced I’m not alone on this one.  Collectively, I believe our society has moved from a place of connection and cooperation with others to one of competition.

One example of this is evident in driving patterns.  When someone is merging onto a highway, is our inclination to slow down and let them in or speed past? How about when our lane is ending, do we fall back in line or speed past all vehicles forcing a merger at the front? What do we do when the person in front of us is driving slower than we’d like? 

Another example is when talking to people with whom we disagree.  Is our inclination to convince others we are right or try to understand their differing perspective? Are we looking for some common ground on which we agree or highlighting extreme positions that further alienate us?

In my last post I wrote about the importance of contributing to a healthy societal climate through good behavioral choices.  A great start in doing this is by showing more consideration towards others.  This doesn’t mean agreeing with everything they say or do, but it does mean being more understanding and intentional when choosing our own words and actions.