Acknowledge, Defer, Step Away

So parents, are you enjoying time with your kids while school is out?  Though summer can be great for families, it can also present challenges.  Close quarters, combined with high amounts of together time, can become a breeding ground for conflict.

Keep in mind that when overly stressed, kids and adults shift into survival mode and react to situations more than respond to them. The thinking part of our brain shuts down, emotions take over, and frustrations come out through observable behaviors.

“I don’t care!” “I’m going to run away!” “I hate you!” If you are a parent, you’ve heard some variation of these phrases. People say things they don’t mean when emotions boil over. When this happens, ignore the words, acknowledge the feelings, and table discussions. “You’re upset. Let’s talk later.”

Problems don’t magically disappear when we hold off on working through them, but by taking a break, we avoid potential power struggles which inevitably makes things worse. Time apart also gives us a chance to calm down and later approach issues with a fresh perspective.

Acknowledge – Defer – Step Away. It’s a three-step mantra I used in countless situations when my kids were younger. And as an added bonus, the strategy works with friends, co-workers, and other special individuals with whom we interact.

Have a great week.