Have you ever seen something and had a flashback memory?  Every time I drive by a specific Wendy’s restaurant near our house, I laugh recalling a behavior lesson my sons and I were treated to while dining there many years back.  

When we entered the restaurant, it was empty, but right after we placed our order a busload of teens and chaperones filed in.  “Look at the board and decide which dessert you want before you get to the register.”  It sounded like a reasonable request from the teacher, but one that did not play out in a way she had hoped.  When the students got to the front of the line, confusion, frustration, anger and regret was the result.  “Wait!  I don’t want that! Can’t I have both? But I want sprinkles too! I changed my mind!” 

Finally, out of desperation, another adult in charge had all the students sit down.  After deescalating the group, a simple announcement was made.  “Everyone’s getting a shake.  Chocolate or Vanilla?”  Immediately, tears and sadness turned into happiness and joy – and all ended well for this group of high school vocational students.

This lesson is not about pumping up kids with sugar, or how dessert cures all.  It’s about narrowing our focus.  When we try to concentrate on too many options, we get overwhelmed and behavior is escalated.  However, when choices are limited, we can self-regulate and soothe.  So, whether it is an approach you use with yourself or others, find ways to simplify.  It’s the right strategy and the right choice.