Every have “one of those days” that felt like “one of those weeks”? Although several days have passed, I still have a sick feeling in my stomach. Challenging student, colleague, and parent situations added up to a horrific nine-hour period. I’m not nearly as frustrated with others as I am with myself. Somehow, my verbal filter either wasn’t working well, or I simply left it at home. I made many comments throughout the day that were negative or judgmental, and I’m sure my contributions only added fertilizer to the field. I’ve been scratching my head ever since thinking, “How exactly did that happen?” That person I became was not me, or at least not the me I aspire to be.
I believe the problem was that I took my cues from others rather than looking inward, letting my own behavioral compass be my guide. The negative black cloud of climate enveloped me and I lost my way. How sad, since I teach children to resist peer pressure and use their own brains to make their own choices. If nothing else, this day served as great reminder that it is often difficult to make good choices at the time we need to do so.
So on I trod, learning from my mistakes and trying better to practice what I preach. I’ll have a bit more empathy and understanding for my students. I’ll also work to use my own internal ethical compass to ground me rather than letting the negative emotional climate of others cloud my judgement, affect or behaviors. Thankfully, tomorrow’s a new day.